Halfway through July already!!! How did that happen? Restrictions are set to ease, and we make tentative steps back to normality, but as cases are still on the rise are we really on our way out of all this? There are still a lot of restrictions in place, track & trace at many venues and testing still required for many activities. Having family abroad has definitely been one of the worst things and challenging, to say the least. I recently flew back to the UK to visit family (definitely not a jolly) and for four of us it cost almost £700.00 for tests!!!!!!!!!! I know and I shopped around for that price. Anyway, as restrictions begin to ease and numbers begin to rise, we are reliably informed that the vaccine will do its job and protect the most vulnerable, but scientists still advise caution, are we listening???
It’s important to remember that not everyone will feel the same way about the situation, when we begin to open up some will be excited and glad of the freedom, others will remain anxious or worried, this is normal, we are all different. It will take time, and everyone will be moving at their own pace. It is okay to set boundaries, take baby steps if that helps and tell people around you just how you feel. I met a friend for an outdoor lunch last weekend, she asked “are we allowed to hug?” If in doubt just ask. Most importantly be kind to yourself and others while we readjust to this new normality.
We have all been affected in some way by this pandemic but none more so than our NHS workers. Whilst many have bemoaned the lack of holidays (me included) others have had more serious concerns! So, considering this and with all the uncertainty surrounding the future, I thought I’d take this opportunity to ask a couple of our frontline workers how this pandemic has affected them, both at work and privately. Their work is not a job, it is a vocation and so I asked four wonderful women I know personally, two from Malta and two from the UK, to answer a few questions to enable us to gain an insight into how it has affected and continues to affect them. Restrictions have varied between Malta & the UK and in my opinion, Malta have fared far better overall. If you, like me, have total respect for these wonderful people, then read on and maybe gain a better understanding of how their lives were also turned upside down, practically overnight!
Laura Borg, Leukaemia Clinical Nurse Specialist, The Royal Marsden Hospital, Sutton, UK
What has the last year been like and how has it differed from your usual working practice?
A lot changed in our practice the last year, obviously PPE’s, switching to virtual consultations, some patients haven’t been seen in person for a year, shifting treatment settings, change of treatments, patients coming to hospital on their own. Adjusting to a new normal.
How do you feel you were portrayed in the media?
I think at the beginning of the pandemic it was nice to be appreciated, it then just dragged on too much, I think.
What was the worst thing for you personally?
The uncertainty, the lockdown, just everything was just as bad.
Do you think your mental health has been affected and in what way?
Yes, it definitely was, anxiety levels were much higher, dealing with a lot more deaths and having to deal with them on my own – not being able to socialise after a bad day at work.
Were there any positives for you from this situation?
The friendships I have got stronger. Also, being part of new services being rolled out at work to improve patients’ quality of life.
Finally, what lessons do you think you have learnt from this last year?
Never to take anything or anybody for granted!!
Julie Middleton, Senior Staff Nurse, Betsi Cadwaladr Trust, Mold Community Hospital.
What has the last year been like and how has it differed from your usual working practice?
I suppose when we first heard about covid 19 we were all a little scared, however we all thought "it’s our job" we will just get on with it, risky situations are a part of our role as a staff nurse, we were used to working under pressure, we were used to working through our breaks, we were used to tired achy feet, little did we know just how bad it would be. We have always worked to a fairly strict routine to keep the wards running smoothly and the patients happy and safe, when covid came all of that changed. We have 2 wards in Mold, Clwyd ward and Delyn ward we care for 40 patients, we've always had the freedom to pop from ward to ward if we needed to borrow something, we could pick up overtime on the other ward, we could all meet up in the communal dining room and have a chat, we would go on training days together etc etc., Management tried hard to prepare us although I don't suppose they knew themselves what was happening, we had to be fitted for special masks, that were awful we couldn't breathe in them, we had full length gowns brought in instead of the usual aprons, full face plastic visas to wear that would steam up and we couldn't see properly out of them, hats like hair nets, what we were used to wearing in work completely changed. We thought we were prepared. It was decided the ward upstairs would be emptied of patients to allow for the first covid patients to go to Delyn ward hoping after a few weeks they would be recovering we would then move the patient down to Clwyd ward for rehabilitation and then home, I don't think any of us expected the patients received to be so poorly, they slowly started to arrive and were so very poorly, most were elderly and extremely vulnerable, within a few days Delyn ward was full of covid patients. Our matron decided we must try to keep the staff separate in the hope of stopping it spreading so both wards had to use separate hospital entrances, we weren't allowed to leave our ward and go to the other, the dining room was closed, we had to eat on the ward, we were told to keep away from our families, if possible, to shower before leaving and to leave shoes outside, Covid 19 changed our routines and lives completely. It was 12 months until were saw our colleagues again.
How do you feel you were portrayed in the media?
There was a public outpouring of appreciation and gratitude towards nurses, it made me really tearful when all my neighbours were outside clapping. However, I feel how quickly people forget, no one really understands how it was for us, it was harrowing, a few months ago there was a "clap one more time" for healthcare professionals, not one single person came out to clap, the claps motivated us to keep going we felt we were valued.
What was the worst thing for you personally?
Definitely the worst thing ever in my whole nursing career was when I heard my colleague was on life support, we all cried so much, it was touch and go for 3 months if she would make it, she has but will never be the same, going to work changed her life for the worst. Then of course not being able to hug my kids every day since they were born, I've hugged them, I couldn't for 12 months and of course not being able to see my mum just in case I gave her covid, being scared constantly of taking it home and making my children poorly, and the day my test came back positive, worrying I was going to die, setting my alarm hourly to check on my breathing very scary times, I'd never thought about dying before, it really brought it home none of us are invincible.
Do you think your mental health has been affected and in what way?
Yes definitely, I don’t think any nurse working in the "thick of it" will ever be the same again, I think because at the start when we had really poorly patients and we weren’t exactly sure what we were doing or how best to look after them, we were all thinking "that could be me". When you’ve hugged your children daily for 25 years and then you can’t go near them it does affect you, some of my colleagues just couldn’t cope with it at all and had to go off sick, I know every day since it began I’ve thought "I can’t do this anymore" at times I would get palpitations which I’ve never had before, little things that you take for granted such as eye contact, holding a patient’s hand to comfort them, laughing and chatting with them, we couldn’t do any of this as we were in full PPE, the heat was unreal.
Were there any positives for you from this situation?
Yes, the first time everyone went on their doorsteps to clap and show their love for the NHS. Everyone on my road came out with their pots and pans, I could hear cars beeping their horns from miles away, it was really lovely to feel appreciated and to see everyone coming together, the general public were dropping off tea/coffee biscuits daily for us, we felt everyone was thinking and caring about us. Often, we would finish our shift at 8pm and walk out to crowds of people clapping for us and a man playing "somewhere over the rainbow" on a Saxophone, the general public kept us going. we've all become a closer team we've relied on our colleagues more, on days when one of us felt we couldn't cope the others would rally round and give us the support needed from the managers to the domestics we all pulled together, at the beginning it was all "come on we can do this" however now with the expectation of a 3rd wave coming we are all like "Have we got to do this again".
Rebecca Mizzi, Senior Midwife, Mater Dei Hospital, Malta.
What has the last year been like and how has it differed from your usual working practice?
On a personal level I returned to work after parental leave during the Covid-19 pandemic. This was a challenging decision in itself. On a professional level the challenge went beyond protecting oneself, one’s family and one’s patients. As midwives we take care of the holistic person, this suddenly became threatened but the use of PPE, fear and caring for people with different precautions depending on their covid status. We’ve had to learn how to smile with just our eyes. Changes in hospital policy has also created challenges when trying to care for the whole family, most especially expectant and new fathers.
How do you feel you were portrayed in the media?
As midwives I don’t think we were portrayed much at all!
What was the worst thing for you personally?
The worst thing for me was separation from family members, decision making over my toddler’s wellbeing and health and the ignorance of those, who to this day, still don’t understand basic infection control and social distancing.
Do you think your mental health has been affected and in what way?
Yes, I think everyone’s mental health has been somewhat affected and I do worry about the effects this has had on society at large and the upcoming generations.
Were there any positives for you from this situation?
So many people have been through so much hardship that I wouldn’t say there were positives, however if you had to look for a silver lining, for those expecting the slower lifestyle was good preparation for early parenthood, lack of visiting hours for the general public (not fathers) allowed for more privacy for mothers and most likely improved breast feeding.
Finally, what lessons do you think you have learnt from this last year?
As a midwife I have learnt the importance of providing individualised care, which was so negatively hit by Covid restrictions. On a personal level the importance of good quality relationships, to never miss an opportunity when it presents itself and not take anything for granted.
Helen Borg Infant Feeding Practice Midwife, Mater Dei Hospital, Malta.
What has the last year been like and how has it differed from your usual working practice?
This last year was something I could never have imagined in my career. It all started with fear, the mothers were scared of hospital, we were scared of the mothers, we were scared for our families and at hospital we realised we had the worst jobs in such a scenario.
Practice was changed from week to week, we had to keep changing to try to keep up with the virus and adapt as we learnt what worked best. I must admit the hospital team leading the pandemic could not be faulted. We were given PPE training very early before we ever faced a case. We had the equipment we needed, training was provided, care pathways kept evolving and we were offered accommodation so that we did not have to put our loved ones at risk.
As things calmed down last summer, we began to lose the fear. It felt that we now knew what we were doing and could continue facing this demon with some bravado. When things went bad again there was some fretting from some individuals but most of us remained calm.
This virus has shown me real humanity, how we cared for each other when having to face positive patients. Unfortunately, it has shown me the opposite too, when staff have only really considered their own safety and created rules that dehumanised our care.
How do you feel you were portrayed in the media?
The media called us heroes and promoted and encourage people to go outside and clap. In reality we felt that we were treated as outcasts. Public health identified how many cases were health care workers and number of cases linked to that person who we began to feel was adding to our victimisation. It reached a stage that I would not divulge that I worked in the hospital so that I would not be made to feel uncomfortable. I did really appreciate those people who reached out to me, just letting me know that I was in their thoughts. Some of these were people I haven’t seen in years which made me feel cared for.
What was the worst thing for you personally?
One of the worse factors for me was not being able to see my daughter who lives abroad and having no idea of when I would do so. This was particularly daunting when cases were high earlier this year and it just felt like this would never end. Her recent visit was wonderful, I actually feel indebted to her hospital for giving her the quarantine period and encouraging her to visit.
Do you think your mental health has been affected and in what way?
I did experience the melt down day, at A & E trying to put on PPE with a frozen shoulder and pushing my pain limits to the full. I sulked for a day but that was the turning point when I accepted, I have to do this. I did always believe that I chose to work in health care and that we do have to face certain risks. It reminded me of HIV & AIDS, we were all scared of that but have learnt that practicing with universal standards protects us.
Were there any positives for you from this situation?
One positive factor was that I had to continue going to work as normal. There is the social side of being with colleagues, so I did have company to chat and gossip with. Although life did become one monotony of work and home with no exciting events or holidays to look forward to. I did get that period of Covid depression. This happened after being vaccinated when I realised that this is going to make absolutely no difference to our lives. This was mostly because as a health care worker I was in the first group to be vaccinated and we were still in a phase of ever climbing numbers. With time I did realise though that being vaccinated stopped me fearing my work, I felt I had protection.
Finally, what lessons do you think you have learnt from this last year?
I learnt value in this last year. The people who truly value you in their life and remain in contact and show support, those are my true friends. I also learnt that there are friends who do not really value me and did not feel the need to reach out and show me they care. I learnt to value my team, we managed to keep ourselves calm, keep our service running and support each other throughout. I value my husband who did not want me to go into accommodation and although he feared me at times it never lasted for long. The most important thing I have learnt to value is freedom, having our freedoms severely challenged made me realise just how lucky I am to live in a society where I am usually free to live an active life and travel the world.
My heartfelt thanks go to these wonderful women for sharing their thoughts and feelings, for opening their hearts and baring their souls, for representing so many of their colleagues in the same position and for everything they have done for us in the last sixteen months and of course continue to do so, pandemic or not!
Comments