Valentines Day, the day we celebrate love! Mainly on Valentine’s Day we celebrate romance and the love between two people, but there are so many different types of love which are extremely important to us and all individual. The love between two people can be all consuming, I remember it well, there’s nothing quite like that initial feeling, the excitement at the beginning of a relationship, that sudden rush you feel. This of course, as we all know, doesn’t last forever, it would be impossible to maintain that level of intensity, certainly not for years and years! I often think that is why so many celebs marry several times (not just celebs of course) they are constantly looking for that first flush of excitement in a relationship, they can’t deal with the mundane. In real life love evolves and it becomes comfortable, lived in - like your old dressing gown, effort is needed to sustain it, but I always think it’s important to remember that love isn’t what you say, love is what you do!
Of course, as I said there are so many forms of love, there is the love that we have for our family, friends and especially children. Unconditional love, love without any conditions, no strings attached, unchanging and knows no bounds, this is the love I have for my children, but I have experienced a different kind of love recently. For me this new love, the love for a grandchild is indescribable, there’s nothing quite like holding your baby’s baby, honestly, I just can’t explain it. After my own children I never thought I’d love like that again. I still love my children more than words can say but along with that comes responsibility, I’m not responsible for my grandchild her parents get that unenviable job.
Talking of unconditional love, important not to forget the love we have for our pets, there are many pet parents, cat mums and dads, dog mums and dads, the heartbreak of losing a pet is unbelievable, they do love us with so much unconditional love and become a big part of our family life. My cats always knew when I was sad or unwell and would just curl up next to me and dogs are just the same. It has been proven that having a pet can benefit our health in so many ways, lowering stress just as an example, the perfect foil for having children which can increase stress levels (just joking!)
But one very important love, arguably the most important, is self-love, this as you know is something I mention often. But really it is vital to our health and well-being, I know I’ve mentioned it so many times before but don’t wait for someone to buy you something if you want something get it for yourself, treat yourself with love and tenderness, spoil yourself. I read something recently and it’s true you will never spend more time with anyone than with yourself, so take care of yourself and most importantly speak kindly and lovingly towards yourself, even with the thoughts in your head. Words are so powerful and have an alarming effect on a person. I knew someone once who was told she was stupid over and over again, she began to believe it and started calling herself stupid, it took a lot of work to try and eradicate that and it hasn’t entirely gone (not me!)
This month I have also been waiting for a very special delivery and find myself in limbo somewhat, not wanting to move too far away from the phone. So I have got caught up with Netflix again and last week I watched Kramer vs Kramer, it was released in 1979 and I watched it at the cinema back then, I found that I now had a completely different perspective than when I watched it as a 19-year-old, my sympathies lay with the father then and I really couldn’t understand it from the mother’s point of view, I do now of course but I don’t think I would have ever left my child(ren) but then you never know what situations can do to people. It was the first time I saw Meryl Streep, I went on to become a big fan! Today I am going to watch something more romantic, all I need is some chocolate and I don’t appear to have any!!! I have an ongoing love affair with chocolate, but if you know me well, don’t give me any white chocolate please.
I also watched the ‘Tinder Swindler’, well where to begin! I would have called it quits when he started asking for money to be honest, but he’s obviously really good at what he does! Absolutely no victim blaming here (as an aside I once made an ex pay back £50.00 I had lent him and although he gave me postdated cheques, 10 of £5.00 I paid those cheques in every week!) In my opinion, if something looks too good to be true then it usually is. At least now he’s been named and shamed. I think we have all learnt not to believe everything we see on social media. My only brush with something like that was when I was 16 and naïve, I had a boyfriend who told me he played for a famous local football team, he didn’t but I did believe him for a short time! In my defense I wasn’t the only person he tried to fool with that story and he was very convincing. He turned out to be a compulsive liar and I was well rid of him. It would be another 8 years before I met Steve, ever sensible, stable and kind, it was the small things that he said and did that made me choose him as my life partner, well he chose me first, love at first sight the story goes! He doesn’t read my blogs so I can say what I want, but he is my rock and his main aim in our life together has always been to make sure that I am happy, what more could I ask for? Love is not about one day it’s about all the other days.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
On this day when we celebrate love I send all my love out to all of you and thank you for being a part of my life.
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