Happy Valentine’s Day - although now quite commercial this is a day when we can let those we love know how much they mean to us, this can relate to everyone we love, not just our partner, and of course we don’t need to wait for a special day, but this is a nice reminder for the less romantic amongst us. It doesn’t need to be costly or gimmicky either, it can be something quite simple - a love note in an unexpected place, a special meal cooked with love or just time spent together, although roses are nice! Love can be all consuming, but it is also constantly represented in the little things we do for each other every day. Love is found in these. Love is the text message ‘let me know when you get home okay,’ just letting someone know that you care. My son in law doesn’t tell me he loves me and he’s not demonstrative at all, but if I’m unwell he moves heaven and earth, not leaving my side until he is satisfied that I’m okay - that for me is love.
There are many different types of love but one that is very important is loving yourself - you can’t love others if you don’t first love yourself. This might mean saying no to others at times and putting yourself first when you need to, setting boundaries, but it is essential. Your relationship with yourself is the longest one you will ever have, make this a priority. I know I’ve said this many times before but on this day in particular I feel it is a timely reminder and of course you can buy your own flowers – no need to wait for someone else to do that.
Do you know your Love Language? - I recently had a conversation with my daughter about Love languages, we were talking about what our love language is (we are the same I believe) and it seemed apt right now, so I decided to delve deeper into this new phenomenon. I found that it’s not new at all, only new to me, but being interested in psychology this appealed to that side of me and my interest was piqued. It first appeared in 1992 via marriage counsellor Dr Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages.”
The five Love Languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
Love languages don’t just apply to romantic relationships, they can be applied to our other relationships as well. Here’s a chart I found online which could help you to decide what you most identify with.
Love language | Associated with | It might be yours if | If this sounds like a partner |
Words of affirmation | Verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement | You like hearing “I love you” often, you thrive when you’re encouraged by others | Say — and mean — more I love you’s, thank you’s, you matter to me’s, etc., |
Quality time | Giving another person your undivided attention | You make time for others, you feel disconnected when you don’t spend enough time together | Have date nights, turn off your phones when you’re together, sit together and talk about your days |
Physical touch | Connection through appropriate physical touch (nonsexual or sexual) | You’re a “touchy-feely” person, you feel most loved when embraced or touched | Hold hands, be generous with affection and other types of PDA, prioritize sex if it’s important in the relationship |
Acts of service | Selfless, thoughtful acts that make a person’s life easier | You’re happy when someone helps without being asked, actions speak louder than words for you | Make them meals, take on a chore or two around the house, prepare them a bath |
Receiving gifts | Tangible tokens of love and thoughtfulness | You pride yourself on giving thoughtful gifts, you most appreciate meaningful gifts | Surprise them with gifts outside of special occasions, bring home their favourite treat, buy or make them gifts that are personal |
Which do you most identify with? And which one do you need? I did a test and apparently I need ‘quality time’. However, I identify most as the one who is the gift giver. There’s quite a lot about this on the internet if you’re interested in finding out more and there are quizzes to ascertain your love language, I love a good quiz. This might be interesting for some and of course you may associate with more than one of the above love languages, I expect most people identity with more than one but maybe have one that is stronger than the others.
With romantic love we can sometimes allow complacency to creep in and especially over time and with other demands in our very busy lives,
to quote Adele from ‘Woman Like Me’ –
“Complacency is the worst trait to have, are you crazy?
You ain’t ever had ain’t ever had a woman like me
It is so sad a man like you could be so lazy
Consistency is the gift to give for free and it is key
To ever keep to ever keep a woman like me”
she hits the nail on the head here, complacency can kill a relationship, it takes work and commitment however long you have been in the relationship, I talk from experience here – 40 years and counting!!
What is meant by love transcends all? Maya Angelou once said, “Love recognises no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope” I guess this could apply to Steve and I in a way, it definitely wasn’t easy in the beginning, new cultures for us both to grow used to, hurdles we could never have foreseen, overcoming heartache and pain, balancing out with some wonderfully precious memories and happy times – that’s life though isn’t it ups and downs?! Romance isn’t dead even for those of us in our 60’s! It’s all about your attitude and what you want and need in your life at any given time, but we all need love in some shape or form. With age I feel comes an expansion of love, in my case a greater capacity to love my amazing growing family and genuine love for all those close to me, tell someone you love them today, it is the perfect time after all.
2024 Chinese New Year of the Dragon – so here we are in the year of the Dragon, the Wood Dragon to be precise. Having just returned from Asia this was something that I saw everywhere we went. But what does this year of the Dragon have in store for us?
The Lunar New Year is a time of celebration and renewal in Chinese culture. It marks the transition from one animal sign to another in the Chinese zodiac. On February 10, 2024, we entered the Year of the Wood Dragon.
The Dragon is a majestic and lucky creature in Chinese folklore, symbolizing bravery, creativity, and innovation. According to the Chinese horoscope, 2024 is a year full of potential and opportunities for personal growth, professional success, and social impact.
Dragon people are charismatic, ambitious, adventurous, and fearless. They have confidence, independence, and vision. They are not afraid to pursue their dreams and goals.
The Year of the Wood Dragon 2024 is also known as Yang Wood on Dragon, or Jia Chen 甲辰 in Chinese. The fixed element of the Dragon (Chen) is Earth (Wu 戊), which represents stability, honesty and loyalty. The variable element of the Dragon in 2024 is Yang Wood, or Jia 甲, representing growth, creativity and flexibility. Sounds good right?
So, on this auspicious day I’m sending out my love to you all and wishing you a very Happy & Prosperous Lunar New Year, may it bring all your heart desires!
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