Empty Nest Syndrome??!!

A light hearted look at something I know isn't easy for everyone, empty nest syndrome is not a clinical condition but rather a time of transition for parents, many of whom have dedicated their lives to their offspring, for a long time they are the centre of your universe and life revolves around them and their needs, as they grow older I believe it is important to try and claim a bit of your life back and start doing other things, this can be any time that suits you but it will help when the inevitable happens.

Anyone who knows me will tell you how much I absolutely love babies, becoming a mother for me was the absolute pinnacle of my life!! My dream was always to have my own children, I had started babysitting at quite a young age as I was considered very responsible! I loved little children, well still do to be honest although I now have much less energy than I used to have. Motherhood is extremely hard work and not for everyone, I understand that, but I loved it, however living abroad, away from my family, made it harder but I wouldn't have changed it for anything. If I could go back in time there would be things I would do differently, wouldn't we all, and I would also try to hold on to the younger years (not the teen years). Not to be boring and go on and on about how gorgeous my two daughters are, but they are, fast forward 24 years (2014) and my youngest Sarah was all set to leave for university, and leave she did! Most of us thought that she wouldn't come back, I would never attempt to stand in her way, I only want the best for both of them. Then my oldest daughter, Becky, planned to get married at the end of 2015. Suddenly I was facing an empty nest! Far from being afraid or sad I embraced the idea, welcomed it even, after all they were no longer babies and needed to lead their own lives, forge ahead with their own lives. I looked forward to a clean and tidy house, less washing, cooking etc., etc., travel and all sorts on my mind - Empty Nest here I come……………………...….

So much fun (and a little stress) planning a wedding, my super organised eldest had everything under control and it was an amazing wedding, a wonderful celebration of love. So she moved out and started her new "married" life. Two minutes later, or that's what it seemed like, my little one was back, one left, one returned (hence boomerang empty nest!) Don't get me wrong I was happy to have her back but I was just getting used to losing them, I'd had a couple of moments but on the whole I was fine, I had heard and read of others who went into depression, split up with their partners and were generally struggling with it, so I thought I was breezing it!! I've got this I thought, how mature am I?!

So, one in, one out. We are very close and have a great relationship (well that's how I see it, maybe they don't see it quite like that!!) no empty nest for the time being, empty nest on hold! Then in 2018 a couple of things happened, Sarah met someone who lived abroad, "deja vu" came into play, the universe must have been saying "here, have a taste of your own medicine!" and we became grandparents! Becky was going to become a mum! Wow amazing, a new baby, and you know how I love babies right? Our little grand daughter was born on my birthday, so amazing, thrilled to have a new addition to the family! Then my youngest left to pursue a career abroad and a relationship with her new partner, just after Christmas, I'm not gonna lie the second time was harder than the first!! And then in January my eldest had to go abroad with her husband, so we set about packing up their home and escorted them across to Dublin, tiny baby and all. It was hard but always trying to look on the bright side I thought how wonderful to explore Dublin and get back in touch with my roots, I do love Dublin, but as usual I digress.

My empty nest had now finally begun, a new phenomena would now start!! The visiting child and her own little family! I was now experiencing much of what my own mother must have felt, karma or the universe having another little smirk at me! In the meantime I had adopted Kiki, Becky's cat, until she returns. So here we are Steve & I, the long suffering husband and father, I kid you not, long suffering, been surrounded by women his entire life, 5 sisters (a story for another time), some may say he's blessed, I certainly do!! But here we are after almost 30 years, alone again, just the two of us, Steve just carried on as normal, for anyone who knows Steve, this will come as no surprise!!! I however set about organising all sorts of trips and projects for us with my usual gusto. Then we go from being just the two of us and three cats, to being 5 or 7, all staying under the same roof, we are very good and tolerant of each other, we laugh and cry, just like all families and for a week or so everything is manic, and then they pack up and leave me all over again, what madness is this??? It is likely to continue indefinitely, hence "Boomerang Empty Nest" on the bright side it gives me time to write a blog!!