Here we are its December again!!! Can you believe this year is almost over? I know I can’t, how did that happen in the blink of an eye, or at least that’s what it feels like. Still my favourite time of year though, it just feels so full of love and promise, it’s heart warming and really with the state of the world don’t we all need that? Of course, there are some that will struggle at Christmas and my heart goes out to them, it will be my first without my mum but we hadn’t spent Christmas together for a long time, however her phone call will be missed and oddly I miss the thought of writing her Christmas cards with her and the conversation and update we would have about each person who would be receiving a card from her! I know that she wouldn’t want me to be maudlin over Christmas and to remember her and the happy times, so that’s what I’ll do.
I am also mindful that not everyone feels the same as me about Christmas and that it is a struggle for many both financially with the extra expenses involved and with the sheer stress of all the work. Remember it’s okay to say NO! No if you don’t want to do it. No if you’re already overstretched. No if you don’t have time. No if you’d rather take it easy. No if it doesn’t make you happy. Just say No! Remember what is important is who is around the tree and not what’s underneath it.
“I’m a Barbie girl,” as the song goes, well no, in actual fact we were more Sindy in the UK and thinking of Christmas I remember having Sindy and her very fancy bedroom for Christmas one year, she had a monogrammed wardrobe which I really thought was amazing. Did I aspire to be like her? No not at all and it still surprises me that people think girls did, maybe they do now but I certainly didn’t, for me she was just a doll. My own girls had Barbie dolls, the youngest wasn’t really interested in them but my oldest had lots of them, vet Barbie, pregnant Barbie, her house, her car etc., so when the movie came out we went together for her birthday, for those that don’t know her she’s an adult with her own children now. I ended up watching it twice and was interested in the views of others that had seen it. Personally, I enjoyed it more the second time around. Since I’m not the greatest fan of Will Ferrell that did spoil it a bit for me. Was there a message in the film? Some felt that it had a very deep feminist message, but others didn’t agree, and the message was completely lost on them, it was different for everyone I asked about it.
As a feminist though, there is definitely more than a nod to the constant fight against the patriarchy and also how it affects everyone, not only women. But also, the mother/daughter struggle was highlighted, which resonated with me, the way this relationship changes over the years and how independent teenage girls become, for anyone struggling with that particular time of life don’t worry they do come back, and they will need you once again. The creator of Barbie, Ruth Handler, is portrayed in the film and she tells Barbie, “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come.” My daughter didn’t like this stating that we shouldn’t stand still, I understand what she meant bur I believe that this is a generational thing and what I actually think it means is that in the past women had to make sacrifices after becoming mothers, not that they don’t now, they do of course, but I think things are a little easier now in that women can continue with their careers if they choose to, although I still believe that in general most of the parenting work falls on the mother’s shoulders, irrespective of their jobs. I think another message was that each person should celebrate their uniqueness, also that women can be anything they want and it challenges the traditional gender stereotypes.
It was supposed to focus on women’s empowerment whist trying to highlight male struggles, yes I can see that. It is summed up by the monologue made by America Ferrera and for those of you that haven’t seen the film and aren’t going to, here it is in its entirety, I also definitely resonated with this! I’m sure most women do.
"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behaviour, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."
I had asked for opinions on the film, but they were so wide and varied ranging from ‘it was just a funny movie’ to full out feminist rants, that I don’t have space to put them all here but if you have an opinion I would be interested in hearing it.
Looking Back – Looking Forward! Life can have a way of dragging us back to the past every now and then, it’s important at times to remember the lessons that the past has taught us, we learn from the lessons of the past, but we must always be mindful of keeping our view on the future and all that that holds for us, we mustn’t allow the past to hold us back. And on this note I would like to go back to gratitude and being thankful for all that we have. I think it’s important at this time of year to help others if and when we can, however small that may be, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be in the form of financial support, it could just be calling someone who is lonely, preparing something for someone to eat or inviting someone over who we know is on their own. Just a small gesture and if we all fill the world with a little more kindness wouldn’t that make it a better place to be? I’ll leave you with that thought and with my very best wishes for Christmas and the festive period.
Yet another beautifully written piece 👍 ❤️ well done